Sexual Trauma

Irimiya Trauma Therapy, Inc. strives to support the healing process for survivors of sexual trauma. There is immense sensitive passion in working with individuals who have been sexually abused and treatment is unconditional and empathetic. The subject of sexual abuse often is considered taboo, biased and often culturally insensitive by those that have not been educated on sexual trauma. At Irimiya, sexual trauma stories, narratives, topics and discussions are encouraged and always welcomed. There is nothing that is “too gross”, “too much”, “too embarrassing” or “too inappropriate” here to discuss. There is no judgment and no criticism. We believe you. We want to hear your story. You matter here.

Irimiya Trauma Therapy, Inc. specializes in working with survivors of Sexual Traumas.

Childhood Sexual Abuse (CSA)

Sexual Abuse is a term utilized when a child has been sexually abused. Childhood Sexual Abuse is any form of inappropriate or sexual conduct between a child under the age of 18 years old and another person. “Another person” can include another child, an adolescent or an adult. CSA is any other sexual conduct that is harmful to a child’s psychological or physical health.

Types of Childhood Sexual Abuse:

• Fondling genitals or breasts

• Sexual intercourse (vaginal, oral, anal, digital penetration)

• Exhibitionism, or exposing one’s private areas to a minor

• Forcing a minor to have sex or sexually abuse another person

• Sex trafficking

•  Masturbation in the presence of a minor or forcing the minor to masturbate

• Forcing a minor to watch pornography, pornographic images/movies, producing or owning child pornography.

• Inappropriate sexual phone calls, text messages or other inappropriate sexual electronic interactions with a minor

Common Symptoms of Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse:

• Anxiety

• Depressed Mood

• Dissociation

• Avoiding

• Negative Self-Thoughts

• Feelings of Worthlessness and Hopelessness

• Feelings of Shame and Guilt

• Sleeping Issues

• Anger

• Nightmares

• Isolation

• Flashbacks of Trauma

• Sexual Issues

• Relationship Issues

• Trust Issues

• Eating Disorders

• Substance Use Disorders

Child-on-Child Sexual Abuse (COCSA)

Child-on-child sexual abuse (COCSA) is defined as sexual activity between children that occurs without consent, without equality (mentally, physically, or in age), or as a result of physical or emotional coercion. This power difference that exists between the children can leave the child feeling confused, angry, betrayed and sometimes even feeling this is what is done between each other.

Both children need help in this situation. The child violated and the child who violated. While the trauma for the victim is the same as if it had happened by an adult, this type of abuse often goes unreported—either because it’s dismissed by adults as “kids being kids” or for the fear of what will happen to one or both of the children to have the abuse known.

The truth is that both children need help in a situation like this. The child being abused certainly needs the appropriate care to avoid the weight of lifelong trauma that so many survivors of child sexual abuse experience, as well as the symptoms that go with it. The child who abused needs just as much help as well, because they need to learn about healthy boundaries, and explore their own mental process of why they felt this behavior was appropriate to them.

Sexual Assault

Sexual Assault is any form of unwanted sexual touching, interaction and/or forced sexual behavior by one person towards another. The term sexual assault is often utilized with older teens and adults. This can include teen dating violence, rape and sexual violence.

The term sexual assault refers to sexual contact or behavior that occurs without explicit consent of the victim. Some forms of sexual assault include:

• Attempted rape

• Fondling or unwanted sexual touching

• Forcing a victim to perform sexual acts, such as oral sex or penetrating the perpetrator’s body

• Digital Penetration of the victim’s body, also known as rape

Here are some common feelings shared by sexual trauma survivors:

"I've never told anyone and I'm scared"

If you have never talked about your sexual abuse, know this is very common and you are not alone. Most children can’t even put words together or understand what is happening. As an adult, you remember the act, but often can’t put the words together. Sometimes, you may have even told and it was dismissed or minimized. Please know your therapist will believe you and welcomes all your emotions that come with this trauma.

"I can't remember a lot and wonder if it really happened"

Often, memories are hidden, forgotten and protected by the mind in order for the individual to function. Once memories are discovered and/or your sexual trauma symptoms emerge, life can become very difficult. You don’t have to remember the details of the trauma in order to process through it. It is common to feel unready to talk about your sexual trauma. Again, know you are not alone with these feelings and it is completely normal to feel this way. There are no rules for processing such a traumatic experience. Know that you lead the path to your readiness for change.

“I feel like I’m going crazy. I was fine”

Often individuals either remember their sexual trauma or something will trigger a memory and all of a sudden, a flood of memories come back. Some individuals live many years remembering the sexual trauma and life appears to be fine, then all of a sudden trauma memories become intolerable. Depression and anxiety are common. Undiagnosed PTSD often occurs. Individuals experience flashbacks, nightmares, difficulty sleeping, unwanted intrusive memories or thoughts of the sexual trauma, difficulty in relationship or having sex, dissociation (checking-out), sleep issues and negative affect (shame, guilt, anger, etc.). You are not crazy. Your body is re-experiencing a trauma and this is common.

"It's just so hard to talk about and to even think about"

Yes, it is. It is very difficult to talk about the horrific details. When working with individuals that have experienced sexual trauma, you will be provided with a safe place to talk at your pace. You never are forced to talk about any details or other information you do not want to talk about or are not ready to talk about. A holistic approach is utilized to help you regain your life back and to continue to heal from a sexual trauma. This starts with Stabilization. This means you are taught skills needed to function better in life, feel less overwhelmed and more regulated. You are then transitioned into Trauma Processing. This looks like exploring and processing through your sexual trauma. Lastly, integrating your mind, body and soul is how one will know they have healed immensely and continue to heal.

“I’m just too embarrassed. I feel gross and I feel ashamed”

My dear, this is very common. Feelings of shame, guilt, disgust and anger are all very common. Survivors of sexual trauma often have many mixed emotions about their sexual trauma. This is due to high incest rates in childhood sexual trauma (loving and hating their abuser), enjoying the feeling as a child but hating what is happening, orgasming during rape, hating your body yet being hypersexual. There are a myriad of other mixed emotions survivors of sexual trauma experience.

Are you ready to begin healing and gain control of your life?

We are here to answer your questions, concerns and explore possibilities of the benefits of therapy. You will not do this alone. As you begin your journey to a transformation of freedom, you will begin to observe your own bravery and courage. Something you have always had.  It is time to embrace the fear and take a step forward because you have suffered enough. You don’t need to suffer any more and we are here to guide you as you heal.