Trauma

Trauma is a difficult, distressing and unpleasant experience that may cause an individual to have psychological problems. Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma, wrote that, “Trauma, by definition, is unbearable and intolerable”. Trauma occurs as far back as conception to anytime in the present. Trauma affects everyone differently.

Common examples of Traumas:

Childhood Trauma

• Sexual abuse (molestation/rape by a family member, another child similar in age, friend, family friend or trusted adult, etc.)

• Physical abuse (hit, punched, slapped, pushed, kicked, thrown objects at by a parent, adult family member or friend, etc.)

• Emotional abuse (not being told you were loved, made fun of, called names, cursed at, etc.)

• Neglect (didn’t go to the doctor/dentist, didn’t have electricity for days/weeks, no food in the home, no running water, etc.)

• Domestic violence, constant parental arguments and fighting

• Drug abuse or alcohol abuse by someone in the home

• Inconsistent structure in the home, parents lying when leaving, saying they will be there for the child, but is not or not showing the child affection or love. This can look like isolation for the child with a mental note that “I am not loved”

• Abandonment through separation, divorce or death

• Bullying by peers, neighborhood children or online

• Natural disasters such as a fire or an earthquake in the home, school or store

• Terrorism through personal experience or witnessing it on TV or through stories of peers that have experienced it

Adult Trauma

• Domestic violence

• Sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional or psychological abuse

• Loss (job, child, partner, relationship, etc.)

• Airplane or car crash

• Serious illness

• Divorce or infidelity

• Death of a loved one

• War or Terrorism

• Prison

• Vicarious trauma

Treatment

“For real change to take place, the body needs to learn that the danger has passed and to live in the reality of the present”- Bessel Van Der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma.

Trauma is difficult to talk about since only the survivor knows what it is like to live in their body, what images they see, how they feel in their body and thoughts they suffer with daily. It is common to not want to talk about a trauma and very commonly say “I don’t want to be vulnerable. I don’t want to remember. I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to experience it because I am not safe”. But really, it is your inner child, feeling alone, trapped and scared. It’s difficult to remember the danger has passed. Through a safe and secure place in the therapy room, with a trusted, empathetic and non-judgmental therapist, you can get there, if you want this.